JAPAN LAUNCHES “SPACE PROGRAM”

Japan’s first lady-in-waiting claims to have explored the cosmos during a nocturnal ride aboard an alien spacecraft.

Miyuki Hatoyama is the wife of newly-elected Japanese prime minister Yukio Hatoyama.

In her memoirs, Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered (2008), Miyuki details her abduction and subsequent voyage to the planet Venus.

“While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,” she writes.

“It was a very beautiful place, and it was very green,” she adds.

Miyuki says her husband advised her that it was only a dream.

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Dream or not, Yukio Hatoyama has long been nicknamed “The Alien” because of his conspicuously extraterrestrial eyes.

He is expected to assume office September 16th.

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In November of last year, aeronautical engineers at the University of Tokyo began experimenting with paper airplanes for use in Japan's fledgling space program.

Hoping to discover cheaper materials for building spacecraft, the engineers reason that chemically treated paper might be able to withstand reentry and landing without bursting into flames.

Venusian First Lady.

Martian Prime Minister.

Japanese Space Shuttle.

SPACE CRAPPER CRAPS OUT...Houston: How Long Can You Hold It?

Something stinks in the space program.

Yesterday, one of two toilets at the international space station unleashed a foul stench after the pump separator flooded.

The multimillion-dollar, Russian-made toilet is shared by six space station residents and seven shuttle astronauts.

NASA flight director Brian Smith declined to comment on whether "overuse" was to blame for the toilet trouble.

Mission Control instructed the astronauts to place an "out of service" sign on the toilet as repairs are attempted.

Astronauts aboard the Endeavour space shuttle are now relying exclusively upon the on-board toilet, raising the possibility that the shuttle’s waste water tank could burst.